Coming Home to Myself
“Within a few minutes it was all ok, everything! It’s not just about presence, but what I call the Nothing Self. Mooji led me right to the door, and there I was already on the ‘other’ side of it.“
|Aeryn North||Jan 30, 2020|
Hi, I wasn’t expecting this to be my first written post on this publication NorthSoulStar Transmissions. I am actually just finishing up an Introduction post. Please look out for that, coming soon.
I haven’t watched a Mooji video in quite a while and after this intense post-Christmas period something again was calling to me. The Self! Oh gosh the peaceful beauty of self-realisation. It’s been such a long time since I have felt that profound peace inside, but not just from that personal perspective, rather just being that, that peace, that freedom. The being rather than the experiencing. It is indescribable and it has always been my wish to deepen into that. There have been periods where this being felt ‘accessible’, and long periods we call integration, or the dark night, where I felt like that was lost, a dream.
So early this morning after waking up at 03:30 – another night of insomnia – I was wrestling with what to do with myself, seeking a quick fix answer. Whether to simply get up and go about my day, or meditate, or journal, or watch TV, play a game.. I remembered.. to give myself a free pass. I fetched the iPad into bed (something I have been trying not to do too often) and browsed my usual internet haunts for something. And there was Mooji.
Oh gosh it seemed that I suddenly remembered how much I love him, and how skilful, and gentle he is in his pointing. I switched on the video and watched him talking with a man who was struggling to see what he wanted to see – his true self. And in my love for Mooji I was open to see what I needed to see, and then simply Be. Within a few minutes it was all ok, everything! It’s not just about presence, but what I call the Nothing Self. Mooji led me right to the door, and there I was already on the ‘other’ side of it. And as I lay in bed in this profound state of being, and loving the heck out of life, myself, and this beautiful man on the screen I drifted off again. My mind could finally relax and let my body rest. I could finally not just release all those identities, ideas, constructs, and concepts – but Be completely ok with it all from a place where these weren’t important but were nevertheless beautiful as is. And I realised it had been a very long time, many months since being the Nothing Self, the true Me.
And of course each time there is a different flavour. From this place I experience my personal self, my ego, my mind, my personality. And all as One somehow. And now I see – wow, have I changed! Wow have I done so very well! Wow, have I shifted! Just wow! And as I write this a huge release of joyful tears come. All is well and life continues. We die, and then we are reborn. But from that place, I see there was never any journey to be taken. This Nothing Self already is, it’s not an achievement, it’s not a goal, and there aren’t any words to describe it.
And I trust it.
I feel beautiful and I feel refreshed. Another layer of perspective shifted, a big one subjectively, and I re-awaken again.
My early awakening was all about Mooji (and another teacher) and realising my true self. Then came the integrations, and adventures. But Now feels like a return. One more trip around this particular spiral: 2017 Lions Gate to 2020 New Year.
The video mentioned is on Mooji’s YouTube channel, called The Self - Most Obvious And Most Obviously Missed and it is the first 40 minutes that led me home so effortlessly. The rest of the video is also worth watching if you have time.